Wednesday, December 13, 2006

At first the ALA (American Library Association) was very subtle

The library association didn't jump out and grab me. They didn't even try to lure me with the more glamorous and sexy library jobs like circulation or Inter Library Loan. No they started real subtly with Cataloging then Collection Development. It wasn't an obvious frontal assault but more of an effort to create the right atmosphere to indoctrinate or inculcate these ideas into my young still forming mind. First it was round pegs go into round holes. Then it was "do your shoes match?" "how about your socks?" It was even in the first lessons in Sunday school class. "God created the Heaven and the Earth and He said let there be light." What's the first thing he did after that? He started cataloging everything. Separated the light from the dark, (what does unseparated light and dark look like?) separated the Heavens and the Earth, Water from the land, fish from mammals plants from animals birds from insects and creeping things and on and on. Then what did he do? He had Adam create the first controlled vocabulary. He brought all the beasts to Adam to see what he would name them. These stories are thousands of years old and part of the basis of our Western Culture! How did the ALA get this stuff in there and in the very first chapters? They must be more secretive and powerful than the Masons, Knight's Templar or even the Priory of Sion.

Then there are their partners in this conspiracy, PBS. Yes I'm talking about Sesame Street. Do you remember? "One of these things is not like the others, One of these things doesn't belong" Yeah, more cataloging. Tell me Bert wasn't a librarian.

Finlay the coup de gras of the whole process. Right about the age where a boy starts to form his identity. Who was he as a son, a boy, a friend, a member of a group, or a team. That's right a team. This is where the third conspirator comes in, Major League Baseball. We all had to join a team. It was part of being male, being a son, being an American. The national pass time. And with that came the baseball card collecting. That's write collection development. First your favorite team, then their rivals, then star players and rookies. Soon you had all the teams for the whole year, then you had to get the next year and if you got that there were always previous years which were more valuable and drove your collecting. Soon it became an obsession a compulsion, you had to get card #127 to finish your set. Then you would make the trade, and get card #127. What ecstasy. The dopamine, the adrenaline the sense of achievement, of accomplishment, of completeness, what could be greater?

Then the high would wear off. You had your set you had no more money to buy other cards. No one had anything you wanted to trade for. So you begin to sort. You would sort by card number checking the index card (Shelf List) to be sure you had them all. Then you would sort by team, by position, by player's name. I did not learn to alphabetize or sort by classification numbers in library school. I learned it in my bedroom sorting and resorting my baseball cards over and over again. Little did I know I was being prepared, conditioned, groomed even. Groomed for the next step in the process.

My Name is Phil, and I am a Biblioholic

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I never realized how devious the ALA was. I've been so blind!