Die Hard 2

Well after “discussing it” with Linda, Bruce Willis, Antonio Banderas, Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, and of course Nicholas Cage, may not do dishes but apparently R Philip Reynolds does. I tried to bring up the ninja point again put she asked” what would a bunch of ninjas want with our dirty dishes?” She had me there. I’ve seen a lot of Kung Fu and Samurai movies and they were never after the dirty dishes. I tried to say that a librarian of my stature shouldn’t… but I didn’t get to finish that sentence. Then I thought of the old “I take care of the outside of the house you take care of the inside”, but before I said it I looked out the windows and noticed the lawn was covered with leaves and remembered that the lawnmower was broken. That reminds me “What do you do when the lawnmower stops working? Slap him upside the head.”

But seriously, Linda was very sweet and did the last load of dishes while I was “sleeping” today. She had already heard all of my Bruce Willis jokes anyway and so I knew she wouldn’t be mad. I am lucky to have here, but I am going to have to come up with some new stories or she might get bored with me.

R Philip Reynolds

The Dishwashing (better looking than Nicholas Cage) Librarian

Die Hard

I hate Bruce Willis. He always plays such a stud. In the Die hard movies he was ridiculously macho but in Armageddon (spoilers coming) when he rips the suit of his antithesis who is going to marry his daughter so that he can stay on the meteor to trigger the nuclear bomb by hand, that is just way over the top. And then the big guy goes you the man Harry you the man. Now how’s a guy supposed to compete with that. I take my wife to a move looking to have a good time, drink a couple of gallons of coke, eat several cubic meters of popcorn, hear some Aerosmith, maybe put my arm around her? J and then here comes Bruce Willis “the man” after ramroding this whole impossible project during the movie he then sacrifices his life by blowing himself up on a meteor with a nuclear bomb and saves the entire planet. How am I supposed to compete with that? I mean what kind of chance do I have to save the world. Oh hey Linda I saw a squirrel in the road today and slammed on my breaks just in time to save it. Good thing I changed those rotors last week. I mean give me a break. Like Die Hard the building is full of terrorists and he single-handedly kills them all and saves everyone. I’ve been in Nac 9 years and have never seen a terrorist.

Just for the record I want everyone to know. If the library is ever taken over by a band of heavily armed international terrorist who want to steal the OED that I’ll be there to stop them and save the day. Or if NASA ever calls and asks me to fly in the space shuttle to blow up a meteor and save the world, I’m there. I’am all over it. Now its true I didn’t get the dishes completely finished yesterday, but if ninjas break into our house to steal those dirty dishes I’m there. Any way Bruce Willis doesn’t seem like the type that does dishes. I think I need to spend that time resting up for that NASA gig.

Anyway someone ripped the sign off the wall by the women’s bathroom in the back on the second floor and I wasn’t there. Not sure when it happened. I had been coming from the other direction most of the time and tonight I came a different way and saw it. Everybody seems to be getting more and more ancy and irritable and I am hearing a lot of coughing. I think that tomorrow may be a pretty rough night. But hey don’t worry about it man, because I’m there, I’m all over it. I’ll keep an eye on those dishes too.

R Philip Reynolds

The Machine

The Human Search Engine

The Man

The Librarian